Not quite a rant

I need a life line, like, i feel like I am drowning. I need help but who to ask…I’ve begged and i’m still begging God. i know He answers prayers, he has answered several of mine before….this though…I can see the kind of things i’ll learn if i get through this…IF…i know He’s looking, He never slumbers. I’m just thinking of all the bible study passages, i suppose they’re helping. Who’ll pay all the bills? How about Dubai in October…i So want to go. I guess that’s God laughing at the plans as he seems to have the entire relationship.


Have to keep swinging though, pick me up by the bootstraps….it is not over, Amen.

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Shitting Rainbows, Unicorns…..& Champagne Bottles

This has been sitting there for almost a year.

Humans are such complex beings…which is totally odd because the best way to live is to keep things simple. Simple is easy to understand, hard to get mixed up and all that good stuff….and then there are the people who say they are simple but seem to be on a mission to show that they are the definition of the word contradiction…my life is simple, if there’s something to say, say it, if it’s there to do, do it. Don’t hold back, love completely, fear limits greatness…just live life, if works out, you’ll be happy, if it doesn’t, you’ll eventually be happy but you’ll also be wise…what’s the worst that could happen?

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The problem is…

“All that is necessary for evil to triumph over good is for good men to stand by and do nothing.”….my response is simple, good men dont stand by and do nothing where they see evil.

About two days after the bomb blast that hit Nyanya, Abuja, well, the 1st bomb blast now. Something happened at my place of work which I thought rather…well, let me reserve my comments.

I was out on business and I was informed by a colleague that the security guard was arrested by the police on the instruction of one of the building’s tenants. My question immediately was, “what did he do?”, although in my mind, I knew the answer to that question. The person that was responsible for his arrest didn’t like him, over the past few months they had had their altercations. Now don’t get me wrong, the security guard is a bit of a nutter, he has his idiosyncrasies but then again, let he who is not somewhat mad in our beloved country cast the 1st stone. My point is the security guard has had a fall out with everyone within the premises and we have all, quite neatly, put him in his place without any brash, and un-necessary, show of “power”, anyway, I digress.

Now, the young lady who ensured the security guard had been arrested had, weeks before, hired her own security guard (do not ask the sense in this, I mulled it over for days without success) to do the same job that the security guard she found there was doing. Therefore, in getting the general security arrested what she also did was to deprive the rest of her co-tenants use of a security guard because, the replacement security guard worked for HER and not anyone else.

So in one fell swoop, what aunty did was to falsely imprison one and then, in the selfish manner I have come to associate with Nigerians, deprive people in need of services they had paid for. Hold on, hold on, it gets worse…

Now the Managing Partner at my firm, one would have thought he might intervene…he didn’t, he just began to park his car outside, so as not to need either the wrongly imprisoned or the substitute security guards. he went as far as to ask employees to carry the office keys home, depending on whom last left the office. He was content to leave the wrongly imprisoned security guard (whom he pays) rotting in a jail cell. I was more than mildly disgusted.

Fast forward to the 2nd Abuja Bomb Blast a few days ago along with the Chibok Girls’ kidnapping….and I felt a knot in my stomach. It hit me, it hit me hard. We do not care for each other.

Nigerians cannot be arsed what is happening to the guy that lives right next door to them, if he is being robbed, they shut their doors and windows and “pray” for the mishap not to come their way. If they see someone on the road whose car is in a spot of bother, they drive past and “thank God” it is not them.

It is pathetic, you cannot constantly call on “God” and claim to serve him and not keep the greatest commandment in the bible, “love your neighbour as you do, yourself”, “be your brother’s keeper”….Nigerians are only bothered about their personal keep. Newsflash, the state of Nigeria is such that if we refuse to care for one another, help one another, speak up for one another, we will all die!

The state of affairs in Nigeria is such that your very right to life, as enshrined under section 33 of the Nigerian Constitution (1999) is all but forgotten by the very people who were voted in to preserve said rights. My question to all Nigerians is this, “IF your very life is not guaranteed, then of what use is all the money you are skinning your hides to make?”. You dont believe me, I shall pick on random examples in the very recent past.

On June 3rd 2012, a Dana Air plane crashed into a printing press/furniture works building in the iju/ishaga area of Lagos state. 153 people lost their lives and, wait for it, ten people on the ground who had never bought a ticket lost their lives as well. Some of these people were sat in their homes totally oblivious to any flight that may have taken off at any airport in Nigeria. The crash was caused by dual engine failure by the way 🙂

Not convinced? Well let’s bring it closer then

BH has kidnapped young girls and these young girls have been “searched for” for the past couple weeks….BH has scourged Nigeria and Nigerians since 2009 and we have heard shouts and grand claims by the government from the “It is our turn to suffer” to “we are winning the war against these terrorists”….to the most recent likening the plight of these missing girls to the Missing Malaysian Flight…..yes, i have the same expression on my face as you do at the moment.

the government does not care about you and must want us dead to allow detonations go off in the same place within a space of three weeks….so, again, i ask, what good is your money to you?

You’ll relocate? don’t be silly, if your red, blue or whatever coloured passport is your solution, can your multi-coloured passport lift your entire family out of this hell?, especially with the stringent conditions now being attached to travel? Aha!

But i am just blabbering, we will all die cause you do not care, if you cannot help that gateman who was wrongly imprisoned in your very own premises, you deserve to die by Nigerian Government. If you stood by and shut your doors while your neighbour was being robbed with his wife and female child raped, you deserve to die by Nigerian Government. If you drove past when the poor chap in front had a car engine which was on fire without batting an eyelid, you deserve to die by Nigerian Government.

Forget the government, we are the reason why we are in this rut that we are in today and it shall remain that way as long as we continue to act with the complete lack of empathy and total disdain with which we act today.

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Shut Yer Piehole, Charles Bukowski!

i found this hilarious

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

This is who's giving writing advice. Why wouldn’t you take writing advice from this man?

The writing gods have buried me.

I’m a ghost trapped in crippling indecision.

Which ME should I write?

smart funny edgy human lovable important literary cathartic informative impressive personal controversial

Enter Charles Bukowski, “so you want to be a writer?”

This poem has always fired me up,

like a pep squad before the big game.

I was the quarterback at the keyboard field; my high school brain hot wired on energy drinks, carb loading and anabolics the coach procured to shoot into beautiful blue teenage veins.

Today  –  you’re an irritant. You’re the PLAGUE.

You’re a bombastic lecture, a tirade of what I’m not and how I can’t and why I shouldn’t.

Fuck you, Bukowski.

Shut yer PIEHOLE.

I can’t corral these

magnetic fields of thought;  brilliant and terrible investigations; verbal threats of transferable love; abandoned novels wishing for a record of having been together, flipping…

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Politically Correct Christianity


Be careful of what you say.  In a world of political correctness, that’s good advice.  It’s politically incorrect to say that Jesus is the only way to heaven.  Those who dare to make such a claim are labelled “intolerant” and “unloving.”  If we dare to take a stand on a moral or social issue, as Phil Robertson did against homosexuality, we start a firestorm and are called “haters.”  Hence, many Christians have found it easiest to just say nothing.  But let me introduce you to a group of people who weren’t concerned about being PC.  Let’s see what we can learn from their example.

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King Maker

“That woman is a king maker, as in, she only raises kings. If she raised you, you are a king….you can blame him but you can’t blame him, when women are all around you, you fit no know when you gem dey your front.”

May God give me someone like this….may God not make me someone like this, Amen.

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Lessons I’ve Learnt….?

My childhood wasn’t the happiest childhood…funny thing about it is I had to grow older to realise just how unhappy my childhood was…my father used to physically abuse my mother, one image that is forever etched in my memory is my father hitting my mother and then throwing a tin of carnco milk at her. I say tin but it was made of glass. I remember my father used to come home at odd times, drunk. My siblings and I were raised in fear, my mother lived in fear too…i think she realises now just how much the fear she felt, crippled her…and by extension, crippled her children. For a long time afterwards, till I grew up and even till now, I was scared of my own shadow, scared to speak my mind, forever wondering why i seemed so different outside my ‘home’. Come to find out it was the same with all my siblings. My brothers and I bonded and have since tried, in our own little ways to protect each other and my mother, not just from my pop (whose pretty old now) but from anyone really. My sister, she she felt it fit to flee under the pretext of a higher education in the U.K. till this day i wonder how i was the only one who knew she wasn’t coming back when she looked through the rear windshield of the Kia Capital as my parents went to drop her off at the airport.

Violence is such a terrible thing and i’ve come to loathe any form of violence and only use it as a ‘bottom of the barrel’ resort. I’ve also come to the conclusion that fear never breeds respect. If your kids come of age and they still do not understand why some unsavoury things were done to them by a parent in their childhood, then such things done by the parent weren’t done in good faith. of course there are one or two exceptions to this rule but those come with the peculiar facts of each matter.

most of all, never stifle your child’s freedom of expression, whether that expression be through play in form of sports, art or speech. it teaches them at an early age to be confident and to stand up for themselves, not to walk with their heads low….and in this world, half the battle, no matter the battle, is won by self confidence.


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Random thoughts

sometimes your efforts will be in vain….sometimes people that are meant to will not consider you in any given matter…understand that you are alone in this world, relationship, marriage, whatever…despite all this, you will need to be good and try your best with whoever you’re with or whoever you meet…life is hard but you have to do what’s right anyways

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And then what…?

Okay, after all the drama, she’s yours now comes the drama as a result of the fact that she’s yours…she is an exceedingly inconsiderate person though, she is. I want to believe that it is driven by fear, I know i’m right cause this shit seems all too familiar, l dont want to make the mistakes i made the first time around though, I know whats coming but i’m wondering how long will this continue but know what i do or not, i’m human….it’s in my hands though….i’m praying to the Almighty, for wisdom, for strength, for courage because this will be hard, very hard.

I’m already tired of being taken for granted…but in all this, i can see just how much i have grown and I can see the amount of progress I have made, therefore if this is all I walk away with, I am ecstatic. Like before, I can see the beauty in this person, bringing it out is the Herculean task because her inability to feel someone else’s pain or see things through someone else’s eyes is unbelievable. The difference here is, she isn’t 18, you might expect that at this age, some things would have been learned…but then again, she has’t been through anything at all, not a thing. I’m so frustrated because this is the last place i wanted to be at this time, this wasn’t the plan, not at all….but my principle remains the same, you don’t give up on people you care about…I wish this was making me feel better…but it isn’t, not one bit…so why the hell am i doing it?

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Untitled II

Sometimes i look at my mother & just marvel. My mother is the strongest person I know…i realise how odd that statement seems because of the stereotype definition of ‘strength’ that everyone has but that is (i) utter bollocks (ii) an argument for a more philosophical post…not that this isn’t a philosophical post but this isn’t really up for debate.

Anyways, I have marveled at how someone can be so strong & resolute and yet you never forget, for one nano second, that she is all woman. She has still been able to retain that essence of womanhood…of “feminine”. Not in that ‘militant’ woman sort of way…but through watching her over so many years i have come to learn that the greatest show of strength usually comes in a show of love, compassion, patience, selflessness, sacrifice…she has taught/shown me how to live in not too many words…and if people watch my actions in my life and see the hand, existence, love of God…then i know that wherever she may be, she is proud as a peacock….God bless you mama, may your children make you proud.

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