My childhood wasn’t the happiest childhood…funny thing about it is I had to grow older to realise just how unhappy my childhood was…my father used to physically abuse my mother, one image that is forever etched in my memory is my father hitting my mother and then throwing a tin of carnco milk at her. I say tin but it was made of glass. I remember my father used to come home at odd times, drunk. My siblings and I were raised in fear, my mother lived in fear too…i think she realises now just how much the fear she felt, crippled her…and by extension, crippled her children. For a long time afterwards, till I grew up and even till now, I was scared of my own shadow, scared to speak my mind, forever wondering why i seemed so different outside my ‘home’. Come to find out it was the same with all my siblings. My brothers and I bonded and have since tried, in our own little ways to protect each other and my mother, not just from my pop (whose pretty old now) but from anyone really. My sister, she she felt it fit to flee under the pretext of a higher education in the U.K. till this day i wonder how i was the only one who knew she wasn’t coming back when she looked through the rear windshield of the Kia Capital as my parents went to drop her off at the airport.
Violence is such a terrible thing and i’ve come to loathe any form of violence and only use it as a ‘bottom of the barrel’ resort. I’ve also come to the conclusion that fear never breeds respect. If your kids come of age and they still do not understand why some unsavoury things were done to them by a parent in their childhood, then such things done by the parent weren’t done in good faith. of course there are one or two exceptions to this rule but those come with the peculiar facts of each matter.
most of all, never stifle your child’s freedom of expression, whether that expression be through play in form of sports, art or speech. it teaches them at an early age to be confident and to stand up for themselves, not to walk with their heads low….and in this world, half the battle, no matter the battle, is won by self confidence.